I'm going to kill myself.
Friday: Josh cried for 10.5 hours.
Saturday: Josh cried from 6 p.m. until 2:00 a.m. when I finally caved and brought him into the bed with me and nursed him all night long.
Sunday: Josh has cried for 40 minutes so far, and I know it's only going to get worse. It's going to be another night of incessant, intolerable crying, which makes me cry and want to punch my fist through the wall.
It's so not right to love a baby this much and simultaneously hate his guts.
Those of you about to have children: Get out now while you still can!!!
Oh, and if you've been trying to arrange a time to come visit, I'm sorry that I"ve been so remiss in getting back to you about that. It's just not a good time, and I never have a moment to get to the phone anyway. I'm so sorry.
Saturday: Josh cried from 6 p.m. until 2:00 a.m. when I finally caved and brought him into the bed with me and nursed him all night long.
Sunday: Josh has cried for 40 minutes so far, and I know it's only going to get worse. It's going to be another night of incessant, intolerable crying, which makes me cry and want to punch my fist through the wall.
It's so not right to love a baby this much and simultaneously hate his guts.
Those of you about to have children: Get out now while you still can!!!
Oh, and if you've been trying to arrange a time to come visit, I'm sorry that I"ve been so remiss in getting back to you about that. It's just not a good time, and I never have a moment to get to the phone anyway. I'm so sorry.
posted by Give Your Head A Shake @ 9:39 AM
3 Comments:
At January 1, 2006 at 10:22:00 AM PST,
Anonymous said…
I anticpate having children to be a living hell of worry, wonder and regret. Of noise, and toys and being broke. Of sleep deprivation and colds and sickness. Of not knowing how you are going to come through, or make do. Of loving and hating something simultaneously you question your own value to the core.
And yet I want nothing more than this path we've started down. So that in August some time this year, that I feel every one of those emotions and more. And that I might raise a child lucky enough to make friends with someone like I have with you. Someone with passion, strength and fragility, that make my child see just how delicate and more importantly beautiful this journey is.
That people and love is what it is all about. Even in these moments of despair, know that you Mare, are teaching people like me a humbling lesson about life, and sacrafice. And most importantly love.
Thank you.
(in case you wondered, yes, I am always here reading and listening. and Yes, that blog of mine and D's will start rolling very soon)
At January 1, 2006 at 1:23:00 PM PST,
Anonymous said…
I'm sorry honey. I know I wouldn't be able to deal myself. That's why I won't have kids:) You're doing great, I just know.
At January 3, 2006 at 8:49:00 AM PST,
Give Your Head A Shake said…
One piece of advice I can offer: get your baby on a routine right away. Otherwise, you'll be dealing with a very overtired, overstimulated baby who can't anticipate anything, and who will make your life a living hell.
And yes, despite my own psychotic episodes, I still think it's worth it.
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