My Salome Nature

Somewhere along the way you realize the desire to be perfect is not the accomplishment of that feat. Either that paralyzes you, or you make your peace with it. This is my attempt at peace.

Friday, March 03, 2006


I stared at Josh for a long time this morning, rocking back and forth in his swing. He's had a really rough few days, but this morning, he looked so calm and content and just... sweet. I didn't have to do anything to maintain that state in him; it was almost like he was resigned to it. I thought to myself, "If I don't get to have the complete family, thank God I at least have him."



Today I'm in the process of gathering up his stuff to send it back.


Ow. ow. owowow.

posted by Give Your Head A Shake @ 6:50 AM  

4 Comments:

  • At March 3, 2006 at 9:20:00 AM PST, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    He really is beautiful, you're so lucky to have him. I have this ache for a baby, especially since I just turned 36 with my life still unsettled.

    I'm sorry for the other stuff you're going through. "Unfair" is nowhere near sufficient enough to cover it, this should have been the happy ending.

    I think of you often!

    Amethyst

     

  • At March 3, 2006 at 3:09:00 PM PST, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    While you feel like are packing up the pieces of something you are missing in your life, we sit here and read about Josh and feel the part in ours that is missing. Sometimes the outside perspective helps to remind us to not forget the things we do have in order to see the things we don't.

    One day, I pray for a place where we both find our cups full.

     

  • At March 3, 2006 at 4:28:00 PM PST, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    what a beautiful photo... you look so at peace!!!

     

  • At March 4, 2006 at 9:02:00 PM PST, Anonymous Anonymous said…

    Hear, hear what Phoenixmomof2 said.

    Is that MY phoenix?

    Granted it is the toughest "job" in the world, but nothing will be as rewarding, as parenting; especially when he masterbates in front of you, gets his first marriage proposal from a girl in first grade, and SERIOULSY FOR SURE PUKES on you. No spit up here, full on stomach flu, three times an hour while you hold his head.

    And then, the best part, the kisses. My sons have had this game now "I dare you to kiss Mom's butt!" Not quite the same as those better than anything goodight smacks!

    Welcome to the whole new you. mom. parent. custodian, and if you are lucky, Mare. Welcome aboard!!

     

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