Last night, I failed Dr. Ferber.
I discovered that Josh would go back to sleep if the little aquarium attached to his crib played a lullaby and if the soother was in his mouth and if the blanket was wrapped around him tightly. Rather than let him cry for 2 or 3 hours, I just kept getting up and turning on the aquarium, sticking the soother in and wrapping the blanket tighter. Josh would return to sleep within a minute or two. The problem is, I had to do it about 60 times throughout the night and I realized I'm in the same place I was before. I gave up and took him into the bed with me at 4 a.m. because I was so bloody unbearably exhausted that I couldn't handle another two or three hours of getting up and making sure all his conditions were "just so". Neither could I handle another 2 hours of crying and going in to comfort him every 15 minutes. I can't seem to do this. I wish he would have figured it out within a few days like everyone says they do, but he didn't and I've screwed up even the precedent that I set over the last few days. I can't figure out what to do next. Do I go back in for another 5 nights of no sleep? What if he still hasn't figured it out by then? Even his naps are affected now. Whereas he used to sleep for 1.5 - 2 hours, now he's back to only sleeping for 45 minutes. I done screwed this one up but good.
I need a bigger apartment!!
I so desperately want to take the one I saw recently. The bedroom for Josh would be on a different floor and I could let him cry without feeling like I was going to have to go in and punch him in the head. I feel so bad saying that. The problem is, in our tiny shared bedroom, every move I make disturbs him. If I roll over, he hears me and wakes up. If I cough, it wakes him. It's like everything in him is tuned to me and the fact that he's not sleeping in the bed with me, nursing. So I try to sleep out on the couch, but our apartment is so small that I can still hear him like I'm in the same room and it makes me madder and madder. It's not fair to get mad, either, because he's only reacting to the changes I've implemented and he's not happy with them. I don't blame him. I've suddenly told him he's not going to get to snuggle up with me and kick me in the ribs all night and nurse and cry if he wants to change sides. It's a hard transition, but man, that kid has willpower. I hope he goes into sales or something. He'll be able to wear anyone down.
By the way, he turned six months old yesterday. I couldn't write anything about it though because I was so crapped out from his marathon cry the night before. Yeah, six months. And one tooth. And can sit up on his own and play (sometimes falls over, bangs head), most hair has grown back, wears 12 months clothing. Six months of never having slept through the night. Not once. Ha. I'm such a bombsite.
I discovered that Josh would go back to sleep if the little aquarium attached to his crib played a lullaby and if the soother was in his mouth and if the blanket was wrapped around him tightly. Rather than let him cry for 2 or 3 hours, I just kept getting up and turning on the aquarium, sticking the soother in and wrapping the blanket tighter. Josh would return to sleep within a minute or two. The problem is, I had to do it about 60 times throughout the night and I realized I'm in the same place I was before. I gave up and took him into the bed with me at 4 a.m. because I was so bloody unbearably exhausted that I couldn't handle another two or three hours of getting up and making sure all his conditions were "just so". Neither could I handle another 2 hours of crying and going in to comfort him every 15 minutes. I can't seem to do this. I wish he would have figured it out within a few days like everyone says they do, but he didn't and I've screwed up even the precedent that I set over the last few days. I can't figure out what to do next. Do I go back in for another 5 nights of no sleep? What if he still hasn't figured it out by then? Even his naps are affected now. Whereas he used to sleep for 1.5 - 2 hours, now he's back to only sleeping for 45 minutes. I done screwed this one up but good.
I need a bigger apartment!!
I so desperately want to take the one I saw recently. The bedroom for Josh would be on a different floor and I could let him cry without feeling like I was going to have to go in and punch him in the head. I feel so bad saying that. The problem is, in our tiny shared bedroom, every move I make disturbs him. If I roll over, he hears me and wakes up. If I cough, it wakes him. It's like everything in him is tuned to me and the fact that he's not sleeping in the bed with me, nursing. So I try to sleep out on the couch, but our apartment is so small that I can still hear him like I'm in the same room and it makes me madder and madder. It's not fair to get mad, either, because he's only reacting to the changes I've implemented and he's not happy with them. I don't blame him. I've suddenly told him he's not going to get to snuggle up with me and kick me in the ribs all night and nurse and cry if he wants to change sides. It's a hard transition, but man, that kid has willpower. I hope he goes into sales or something. He'll be able to wear anyone down.
By the way, he turned six months old yesterday. I couldn't write anything about it though because I was so crapped out from his marathon cry the night before. Yeah, six months. And one tooth. And can sit up on his own and play (sometimes falls over, bangs head), most hair has grown back, wears 12 months clothing. Six months of never having slept through the night. Not once. Ha. I'm such a bombsite.
posted by Give Your Head A Shake @ 6:55 AM
1 Comments:
At May 7, 2006 at 3:00:00 PM PDT,
Help I need a user name! said…
I feel for you; really I do! I buckled and let them sleep with us (actually wrapped up in my arms for I don't know how long. Trouble is, then we had to break them of sleeping with us if we ever wanted any "alone time" again.
I don't mean to offend you by offering unsolicited advice. I hope I don't because I'm going to offer it anyway, but you can feel free to punch me in the head if you hate it. Have you thought of moving his bed to the living room, or wherever your couch is, so that you can get comfortable in your own bed? On airplanes, they tell us to secure the breathing mask over our own nose and mouth before helping our children. It's because we have to be able to breathe in order to think how to quickly help them to breathe. My opinion is that it's the same thing with sleep. You're being worn down to a nubbin and you need to take care of yourself so that you can continue to do the absolutely fan-freaking-tastic job you're doing of raising him. Just an idea.
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