Man, I look so skinny in that photo. Seeing it now is jarring. I wish I could go back.

Six days after writing that last post on here, I found out I was pregnant.

Now I have less than six months to go before I bring a new person into the world, and I am scared. Scared.

I have never felt more alone, or more desperately aware of all that I lack.

I have never felt more hungry, either, and it seems I'm eating to mask fear as well as meet the unyielding desire for more food.

I have to stay very close to God in this. I know that I simply cannot do it on my own. I almost didn't do it, but I cried so much that I knew there was nothing for me except to have my child and enjoy the experience of motherhood as well as I can.

By the way, I've decided that not all single Christian men suck. Just most of them.